As someone who is an American idealist and believes in the idea of what America can be... this has been one of the worst nights of my life and that's not hyperbole. We should be better than this. Are we? I think so... I really do. But I feel like everything I know is a lie. This is not my America. But this is horrific no matter which way you cut it. My wife is horrified, my daughter woke up with a cough and I held her for a while. Thankfully, my children are too young to understand and there's still hope for them. My Dad... one of the smartest and greatest people I know sent me a text that broke my heart... I think I'm a good person, Dad, you and Mom didn't fail me or my brother and sister.
I've had two anxiety attacks tonight, a couple rage screams, and a great deal of reflection about everything I've learned in my life, how I treat people and how I identify myself. Point fingers all you want, blame whoever you want - I've got a laundry list starting with the media. These elections aren't a fucking sport. People's lives are in the balance. I'm legit looking at moving to Toronto, not because I don't want to fight, but because I may need to get away from this and the deep seeded hatred in this nation for a while. It's a privileged thing to do... but I feel broken.
It's not the idea of this kind of Republican in power at all (only kind of) ... it's the idea of Trump, this horrible human being, in the White House and I don't think people really understand the gravity of what this means. The markets are the most telling and tomorrow it's going to be a harsh reality when the world economy tanks further than it already has. And you know what? The angry white people that voted for Trump will be the ones hurt the most, starting tomorrow when the economy crashes. All I can say is I hope the level of regret is so profound that when the Electoral College convenes in December, they save the republic and reverse this. It will be ugly, unprecedented and cause outrage, but it will save us all. (Yes, they can indeed do that).
Don't tell me things are okay. They aren't. Don't tell me we'll make it through this. We may not. The American experiment is on life support right now. There will be a global recession starting tomorrow. America's standing in the world is severely damaged. NATO is on high-alert. This is not what the founders intended. Half of this country got bamboozled and conned because they were so uneducated and misinformed, mostly about emails.
My cynical, sad hope is between now and December is things get so bad and regret mounts so much that as I mentioned, the Electoral College serves its purpose and reverses this election and prevents Trump from taking office. That is after all, it's intention and purpose. To save the republic.
Our national security is threatened, our economy is threatened and our well-being is threatened. I fear for the diverse, beautiful cast of characters in my life.
I'm disgusted and angry. And while my wife is encouraging the move to the Canadian city we love... I'm reaching for my star-spangled shield.
This is a dark day for America. Things are going to get ugly. But I want to believe there's still hope.
I do not and will not accept Donald Trump as my President. Ever.
I am ashamed and embarrassed to be an American tonight.